Tag: slave

  • WOLF NOTES: An Uncommon Interview – D L Carter

    081Welcome to WOLF NOTES, where interview questions stray from the rest of the pack. It’s nice to know the usual stuff like where an author gets their inspiration and why they write, but sometimes we need a little fun in our lives.

    evil author laughterD.L. (Dee Leana) Carter was decanted from her incubation pod in the outback of Australia many decades ago. This terrifying event was closely followed by shrieks of “there, there it goes. Hit it with a brick!”

    These valiant attempts to correct the existence of D.L. were, unfortunately, unsuccessful and she now resides in New Jersey, US., in a box with her toys, two human beings and a variable number of cats.20170221_133020

    Wolf: That’s an interesting introduction. What is the strangest food you’ve ever eaten?

    D.L.: Deep fried Witchetty Grub
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Witchetty_grub

    Wolf: Lots of protein in grubs, especially that big boy. If you had to pick a weapon, what would it be and why?

    D.L.: Nulla Nulla
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waddy
    I have a scar on my upper lip from where my brother hit me when I was five.
    HE has a scar on the top of his head because… well… sometimes it amazes me that anyone survives childhood.

    Wolf: Sounds like you played with some interesting toys growing up. What is the meanest thing you’ve ever done to your characters?

    D.L.: In First Destroy All Giant Monsters I psychically bound a guy to his ex-girlfriend. It was, is, complicated and it almost resulted in his death. Nasty way to die, that.

    Wolf: You’ve just been turned into a plant. Describe yourself.

    D.L.: Blooming Idiot.
    https://www.pinterest.com/pin/134896951308997624/

    Wolf: Interesting sense of humor. Do you consider yourself a cat person, or a dog person?

    D.L.: I am the imperfect human slave of six cats at the moment. I have the greatest respect for my cats, four of which are Maine Coons, who are very intelligent companion animals and are very good at managing me.

    I dearly love the senior Maine Coon for whom I am writing a series of children/YA stories in which a cute, fluffy cat has ambitions to become The Evil Overlord.  Stay tuned.

    That being said, I love Boarder Collies. I wish I could have a few of those about because they are so intelligent and determined but my life doesn’t allow for the amount of time that breed of dog requires from their humans.

    Wolf: That’s a lot of cats! While walking in the woods you come across…

    D.L.: A snake.
    A big snake.
    No, seriously it was a f###ing big snake – 15 feet long and known to be poisonous because, you know, all snakes in Australia are seriously poisonous. A black whip snake. http://www.snakecatchers.com.au/Lesser_Black_Whip_Snake.php
    This particular snake was better than me at climbing trees.
    And eventually I had to kill it with a hand axe.
    Thank you so much for bringing the memory back. Time for chocolate.

    Wolf: I think I need some chocolate now too. If you could have a super power, what would it be?

    D.L.: IN one of my unpublished books I have a character who is a rock singer. One of her songs is “Put Your Super On” in which she acknowledges that everyone is a Super. Super doctors, nurses, police, moms, dads, teachers, etc, . In the music video she produces everyone develops a power when she plays a guitar lick but she, at the end, walks away still herself – which is an acknowledgment that this particular character is happy just being herself.

    Wolf: Cool. There is a door at the end of a dark, damp corridor. You hear rumbling. What do you do?

    D.L.: Have lunch.

    Wolf: Hope you enjoy your meal. The world is about to end. What is the first thing you do?

    D.L.: Post a Facebook Meme.

    Wolf: What five items would you want to have in a post-cataclysmic world?

    D.L.: Adam Savage
    Jamie Hyneman
    Kari
    Grant
    … not Tory. Maybe Jamie’s storage facility.

    Wolf: Interesting ‘items’ to choose. Which of your characters is your favorite?

    D.L.: Millicent North – Ridiculous – This is one well adjusted, happy, adaptable lady who is determined to do what is necessary and laughs while she does.
    Also makes everyone else laugh.
    In the reviews I have received for this book a number of reviewers say they want to have Millicent as their BFF.

    Wolf: What story are you working on now?

    D.L.: Um. That is kinda a secret but on my to do list I have book three of the changing magic series, book three of the Ridiculous Lovers series and the first book of a new regency series overarching title Uncle Burnside’s Nieces in which a retired sea captain turns matchmaker.

    Wolf: What do you like to do when you’re not writing?

    D.L.: http://www.dlcarterauthor.com/about.html – scroll to bottom of page.
    I paint, sketch, do needle felted animals, collect antique medical books, visit sci fi conventions and turn my characters into cats.20170221_133240

    Wolf: You’re really making me work with all these links.

    Thanks for stopping by. For more information on D. L., check out these links.

    www.facebook.com/pages/D-L-Carter/410572495645067
    if you want to chat – please drop by Facebook group “Reasonable Intelligent Heroines”
    www.funwithghoulsandgoblins.com
    http://funwithghoulsandgoblins.blogspot.com

  • FUTURE SHOCK

    “Congratulations, Mr. Baker. You’re officially cancer free. Welcome to the year 3015.”

    I grabbed the doctor’s hand and pumped it up and down. Not bad for a recently thawed popsicle. My billion dollar investment to cheat death paid off. Now I’m healthy and far from my nagging ex-wife.

    “Thanks doc. Check me out of here. I’m due for a double bacon cheeseburger and a walk on the beach.”

    “I’m sorry, Mr. Baker, but outside toxicity levels are inhospitable and the ingesting of animal products was outlawed years ago.”

    “Aw, heck. Sounds like my ex’s heaven.”

    “There’s also the matter of your bill,” said the doctor. “You’re going to have to work off the remainder as an indentured servant.”

    “What?”

    “Don’t be alarmed. Your basic needs will be met.”

    “So I’m supposed to be some guy’s slave?”

    “Only for fifty to sixty years.”

    “That’s absurd. I’ll be dead by then.”

    “Sorry, but you’re the property of New Life Incorporated until paid in full. The Long-Life serum will keep you young for many centuries. You should feel honored that the president herself requested you as her servant.”

    “Well I won’t stand for it. I’m no one’s slave.”

    The familiar clicking of high heels made the hair on my neck stand up. I spun around and stared at my ex-wife. She looked as young as the day I left.  My heart pounded as she examined me through narrowed eyes. This was impossible.

    “Well according to the law you belong to me.”